Our Normal Life

We Survived!

February 6, 2010 in Uncategorized | 3 comments

We took a harrowing first step today…into the land of play dough.

I know. It’s not swimming in a shark tank or cliff diving. But it is frankly almost as frightening. Have you seen the way play dough gets into every.single.crevice of your house?! Those dried little crumbs are nightmarish. A little OCD? Perhaps. Okay, probably. But toddler art projects (i.e. ways to mess up a nicely cleaned home and create an urgent need for the whole family get thrown hosed off) are just not in my comfort zone. However, I am a big believer in the power of little children to make us reevaluate our lives and that shaking things up is good for the soul. So, with that in mind, I set out to make some play dough. Sure, I could have let them play with the (unopened, pristine) Play-Doh we already own, but in my mind there was the chance they would decide to eat copious amounts of the stuff, so I felt more comfortable going the less chemical-filled route. Frankly, I was picturing the diapers that might result from the grass green tub. {shudder} I found a simple little recipe online and dove right in. I admit that the natural food coloring is lacking a bit in terms of vibrancy. Despite using blue dye, the blob still came out looking suspiciously like I shaped Barney into a ball.

Luckily, my gal loves purple, so we soldiered on. And lest you think I am incredibly brave (ha!), I did have reinforcements in the way of a visit from my sister-in-law. In my worst-case-scenario, I would need an extra set of hands (while Bill was working his tax season Saturday hours) just in case each kid were to simultaneously grab handfuls of the dough and run to smash them in the white carpet. Hey, you never know! Of course that didn’t happen. Kailey was more entranced by the Play-Doh scissors and Lucas was content to sit at the Creativity Center and watch his aunt and I show him the ropes.

So yes, it went well and my anxiety was unfounded (this time!). We survived the foray into creative play land and lived to tell the tale. Baby steps…

Progress Report and Goals

January 28, 2010 in Kailey, School Stuffs | 3 comments

This past week Kailey’s preschool teacher finally was able to get her communication binder with weekly goals pulled together. Thanks to my sweet sister-in-law watching Lucas, I actually was able to take the time to meet with her and discuss Kailey’s progress. It was so wonderful to hear about how much everyone feels she has progressed just over the past few months and to get a glimpse into her day. Some things I learned:

~Not only has the crying stopped at drop-off, but through the rest of the day as well. Things that were clearly stressful to her a few months ago are being taken in stride now. Kailey’s always been fairly friendly and outgoing, so I was glad to see the teachers seeing this side of things, rather than just a crying ball of unhappiness. My meeting ran a few minutes past the time class is usually dismissed and when I made my way to the lobby, I saw my tiny girl sitting there with the classroom aide. She was surrounded by other therapists and parents, like a little queen holding court. She was charming them all and, of course, showing them her latest art project.

~Kailey’s starting to conquer the gross motor room. I can’t even imagine how intimidating this room must have seemed to her. She’s still working on mastering stairs (walking on her own), plus she’s very tiny. The over-sized room with thick gym mats, trampoline, ball pit, etc. was probably overwhelming on it’s own, but add in two rowdy boys? It was the perfect setup for some tears. But this week? My girl went in the ball pit. No tears. I bet there were even some giggles. The therapist was telling me that she used to refuse getting on the trampoline at all. Then they were able to convince her to give it a go only by keeping both boys cleared off it. This week, however, she was all over that thing. That’s my girl.

~Her teacher is on to her “I’m just a cute little thang and need your help” routine and is pushing her just like I had hoped. She even sneaked in on the gross motor room and saw Kailey not only mostly putting her shoes and socks back on herself, but trying to be a little mother hen and help the boys. Ha!

We also got a binder with some activities for us to work on at home, in order to help Kailey work on some of her goals.

Verbalize at least two words in order to receive whatever she is requesting. ~ This has actually gone really well over the past week. We kept getting reports from her teachers that she was using word approximations for entire sentences, but she would refuse to do this with us at home. (She’s sooooo “3″). Ms. Kathleen said we needed to give it a try when we had time to wait her out and not just give her whatever she was requesting. Well, low and behold, once she learned we were no longer giving her anything without a verbal request, she complies all the time. We are modeling the sentence for her in it’s entirety and then modeling each word as she repeats them back (with approximations, some of which are amazingly clear words!). Eventually, the goal is to help her start the sentence and then fade out the modeling for the last words as she says them on her own. My mom reported that she asked for “one more cracker please” without any modeling one day this week. I am skeptical, but Ms. Kathleen says she isn’t surprised at all, as Kailey is starting to put words together at school without prompting. Good work, girlie!
With food and snacks, Kailey will leave her plate, bowl, spoon, etc. on the table. ~ She tends to shove things away when she is finished or not interested. This also translates to school when she tries to toss her paper when she is done coloring. They were taping her paper to the table for a while, but now I think she mostly listens to the instruction to “leave it.” We went out and bought some placemats for the kids. Ms. Kathleen said K is allowed to push the plate away from her and to the edge of her placemat, but the placemat should set the boundary for where she has to leave her things. We’ve done pretty well with the goal this week. She’s also had to sit and wait while Lucas finishes eating, rather than letting her down. This is helping to shift the subtle power struggle in her mind, i.e. we decide when the meal is done and not her.
Interactive play with language to increase attention span. ~ We admittedly did rather poorly at this during the past week. The goal is to sit with K twice a day for at least 10-15 minutes and play interactively with three different toys, for 3-4 minutes each. Not a hard goal at all, but when you have two kids who are rather whiny from colds, the interactive play falls a bit on the wayside. But we are going to do better next week and this weekend will also go and get a few new toys for this purpose.

Happy News

January 25, 2010 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My friend Michelle received a huge donation from an anonymous donor and is fully funded now to bring her daughter Lily home. How is that for renewing your faith in humanity and the random kindness of strangers?

In a somewhat related note, we went to see a movie this weekend (thanks again to my wonderful sister-in-law). We saw The Blind Side. Such a heartwarming and inspirational story. And while I feel like I am done growing and birthing my own babies, movies like this and personal experiences like the one with Michelle and Lily often make me wonder if I have a missing child out there somewhere. I never would have even entertained the idea of adoption as something “for me” before having my children. It’s one of the magical things about becoming a mother, for me. It opens your heart in so many unexpected and magical ways.

Valued Members of Humanity

January 21, 2010 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

This and That

January 16, 2010 in Kailey, Lucas | 4 comments

It seems like we are sliding through 2010 without much notice being given to the passage of time. Sometimes one gets so mired in the everyday routine that, without realizing it, events sneak up on you. Just a few days ago I realized that my daughter’s birthday is in a few short weeks. And not only that, but she will be THREE. While often times life does seem removed from those hazy baby days, it certainly does not seem possible that three years are coming to a finish so quickly. Anyway…

The beginning of 2010 has brought me a 34 month old (see? still just a wee babe when you phrase it like that) and a 17 month old. The bigger one decided that, after several months of crocodile tears, we probably weren’t going to let her be a preschool dropout. I don’t think she could figure a way around the teachers telling us how those tears would dry up about three seconds after we dropped her off. So this past week, she marched her little self into class (and her speech therapy session) with hardly a wave goodbye. She also acquired a fan in the 4.5 year old big brother of one of her classmates. He has taken to wanting to hold her hand and give her farewell hugs and kisses at the start of class. It’s one of the sweetest sites you can imagine. Just random kindness from a little guy with a benevolent soul. It gives me so much hope for sending both my kids out into the big world.

Kailey’s speech is also starting to develop in slightly larger and more noticeable leaps or at least hops. As she becomes more comfortable with her new voice, she is dropping her signs and using words (or approximations) as her preferred communication. We hear “more” all the time, which sounds a bit like I would imagine Oliver Twist to say the word, like a little British imp. Again (gan) is another favorite and she’s on a very familiar basis with Elmo, just calling him her ‘Mo. It’s indescribable how lovely it is to finally hear her tiny voice, even if it seems she prefers to use it for issuing commands like a little dictator. I am sure she is already interviewing for replacement (i.e. more cooperative) minions.

Mr. Lucas. What can I say? He’s ummm, passionate? Happy with his whole heart and unhappy with the same amount of enthusiasm. He’s a smart little whipper-snapper, so there’s really no “diverting” him from whatever he has in his mind…be it wanting to run around with a key in the upward position (i.e. poised to take out an eye, should he stumble) or thinking he should be allowed to eat an entire jar of Dove dark chocolates (though who can blame him for trying?!). Not being able to persuade him something else is more fun than daddy’s Swiss Army knife has led to many a tantrum. Whenever anyone else happens to witness his drama, I am always left wondering if they think that was the first time we bothered to say ‘no’ to the kid. Because, that’s how much drama he displays. Every time we say ‘no.’ Which is all the time. The kid is nothing if not persistent. Luckily, we are more persistent and the Swiss Army knife has stayed out of his little paws.

Lucas and Kailey both have been delightful with their pretend play these days. Kailey throws elaborate tea parties for Elmo (or ‘Mo) and Horton (a la Dr. Seuss). She spreads her wooden bread with some sort of pretend confection (probably her favorite chocolate peanut butter spread) and pours everyone a spot of tea. After tea, any number of baby dolls are strapped into the old stroller and given a tour of the house. Lucas does a little pretending too, mostly at the play kitchen, stirring pots on the stove and taking things in and out of the refrigerator. But he’s also quite the little mimic. He has always loved to watch Bill shave and used whatever toy happened to be in reach to act as his own little razor, but he keeps adding more and more detail to the routine, like pretending to put on deodorant and stepping in Bill’s sneakers to head off to the gym. They are such fun little hams.

One other thing as of late, is that both kids think it’s hilarious to say no (or sometimes “nah”) if we ask for a hug or kiss. Guess this is good preparation for the teenage years. Little goobers.

We are getting into the swing of the current tax season. I have been dreading it, but so far it’s going okay. My closest friend and I were talking the other day about how I ended up doing the preschool pickup by myself (juggling both kids) one of the days last week. As I told her, it went the same as I thought it would (HARD!), but that my attitude about it was better. That’s what I am working on this year. Not a resolution. I don’t make those. But just part of my continual self-improvement effort. With two young kids, a very busy husband, a job, a house full of responsibility, etc, it’s easy to get caught up in frustration at times. But I have realized that not only am I wasting energy being frustrated with things that aren’t going to change (there’s no laundry fairy, right?), but while I sometimes feel better by venting about my day, most of the time it just keeps me stuck in the “argh” mode. When really, I ultimately get more satisfaction by pushing through and coming out the other side after a job well done. It’s actually been really easy to make this small change (which has made a big difference) and hopefully it sticks as things get even more hectic around here.

I guess this is a decent (long!) update. I always have things I want to write, but either I lack the time to sit down and string my thoughts together or by the time I have a few minutes, my thoughts won’t gel. But life is good. Really good.

Goodbye 2009

December 31, 2009 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

Survey courtesy of Facebook…

—Name one thing you’ve done a lot of this year? Wrangle toddlers.

—What was the best thing you bought? Hmmm, my husband was right and I love the iPhone.

—Did anyone close to you give birth? Two coworkers had babies.

—What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving life with two toddlers.

—What was your biggest failure? Often not having enough patience with aforementioned toddlers.

—Where did most of your money go? Regular household stuff and savings.

—What did you get really, really, really excited about? I love the kids’ birthdays…so Kailey’s second birthday and Lucas’s first.

—Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Probably the same level of happy.
b) thinner or heavier? Same, I think. Still holding on to those pesky 10 pounds from the pregnancy with Lucas.
c) richer or poorer? Richer, overall, not really just monetarily.

—What do you wish you’d done more of? Outings with the kids. It’s impossible for me to really take them out alone (unless strapped into a grocery cart), but I wish that was more of an option.

—What do you wish you’d done less of? Worry. I am a worrier. Especially about things outside of my control.

—Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t hate anyone. Life is too short. But I am sad about some issues between my husband and mother-in-law. I think their relationship was irreparably damaged and it’s sad because if she had just apologized for hurting him, it would have been forgiven. But moving on…

—Do you have the same friends this year as you did last? Yep.

—What was the best book you read? Probably Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan. It really challenged my views on food.

—What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 32. I had a low-key celebration with family, which I loved.

—What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hmmm, I had a pretty great year. Maybe winning the lotto?

—What would make your job better? I am pretty darn happy with both my jobs…mom and Financial Analyst…both are perfect in their imperfections.

—How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Comfort

—What kept you sane this year? My husband. Hands down. He’s my rock.

—What’s your favorite way to spend NYE? With my husband and kids. Probably sleeping.

—Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. My continuing lesson is just to roll with the punches and not take life too seriously. It’s too short to be unhappy.

—What will be your New Years resolution? I don’t really do resolutions. But my ongoing goal is to be a better wife, mother, and friend. And to know that there will be times that I fail, but I still need to keep trying.

Putting Your Hand Out

December 30, 2009 in Uncategorized | 2 comments

I read an article the other day about a college student with Ds winning a ruling to allow him to live in a dorm at the school he currently attends. The article was interesting to me because I don’t know a lot about the college options available for intellectually differenced individuals. Apparently, this student has been attending the college since 2003 and rides two different buses (public transportation) for two hours from his parents’ home in order to get to classes. The college was denying him housing because he wasn’t enrolled in a traditional degree program. I understand this. I really do. I also understand the argument I read a few people making that there needs to be academic standards for educational institutions. I would argue that the university is a business. I doubt they are letting in academically challenged students out of the kindness of their hearts. College enrollment is down everywhere. I am sure it is profitable for them to have paying students, regardless of whether those students are enrolled in a brain surgery program or not. So I guess I don’t understand the reasoning behind refusing him housing. I don’t know all the facts of this story, but I didn’t see the parents asking for any special accommodations for their son (live-in aides or whatever). So, assuming he can live independently like any other student, why would the university not accept his check?

And arguing from my heart, why not show a little kindness and let this kid have full access to the college experience? Where do you draw the line for exclusion? For instance, should we stop making college athletic facilities accessible to those with physical disabilities? I mean, those kids are never going to play at the same level as athletes without physical limitations, so why bother, right?

It’s always disheartening to me that so many people feel that they have the right to decide the experience that others should have access to, rather than the responsibility to help their fellow human beings in this shared experience on the planet. People seem to forget that at some point in life everyone will need a hand up and the rest of the time you should put your hand out to help.

Aaaaand…

December 28, 2009 in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

…now Lucas, Bill and I are coming down with the cold (sore throat). Yikes. These kids are such germ incubators. Of course it doesn’t help that I spent Christmas night with a little one coughing, sneezing and breathing a vapor of ick in my face. Good thing the poor buggers are so darn cute.

Bad thing parents who stay at home don’t get sick days.

Christmas, Etc.

December 27, 2009 in Uncategorized | 1 comment

In a nutshell, Christmas 2009 was laid back, full of family and some toys, ended with a little sickness and followed up Chinese takeout. Something like that.

Christmas Eve was relaxing. My mom came over. We only had one item to assemble. (The kids got a little table from Ikea and it was delightfully easy to put together). There was hot chocolate with Baileys and some sandwiches from HoneyBaked Ham. So nice in comparison to last year’s mad rush to assemble an exersaucer and a million little doll accessories. I am sure we won’t get off so easy every year, but definitely didn’t take it for granted.

We were all up bright and early on Christmas morning. We put on the kids’ new Christmas fleece outfits, gave them breakfast and then headed to packages. I was sort of expecting they would enjoy unwrapping a little more this year and had painstakingly wrapped even the items for the stockings. I also ended up being the unwrapper of those items. {Sigh} Maybe next year the enthusiasm will last longer than a few presents. The kids got a little table, an Elmo, a digger truck and doll, etc. But the hit of the morning? The counting bears. They are the little bears in 5 colors that you can sort into 5 cups and use for learning to count, etc. The “educational” toy. Clearly, there is just no predicting the fickle nature of my kids.

As we were finishing up with the gifts under the tree, my brother and sister-in-law arrived for brunch and round two of gifts for the munchkins. There were play tunnels, superhero capes, ballerina tutus and new books…not to mention joyous children.

We had brunch and the kids had nice, long naps. It was a wonderful way to spend the holiday.

Unfortunately, the evening was not so fun. Kailey came down with a cold and awoke with tears and hacking. She and I spent Christmas night with her moaning and groaning fitfully on a beanbag (which seemed like the best way to keep her head more elevated) and me curled on the floor beside her. Poor bug. The following day was no better (or actually worse because we had no sleep at all). My brother was a really good sport and brought us food home from the birthday lunch we were supposed to attend in his honor. Luckily, Chinese food is perfect for takeout. And we still had cake and ice cream to celebrate at our house as planned.

Today, two days post Christmas, we were just starting to make it past the cold (or at least until one of the rest of us finally succumbs to Kailey’s germs) and enjoy the lull before we ring in the new year. I am still not sure where this “old” year went, but it was certainly a fine year, with lots of happiness and laughter. A year, like our holiday, which will be fondly remembered.